


tear in my heart (there's room for you still)

by MarkedMage



Series: Seasons [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Healing, Post-Canon, Sequel, Zuko (Avatar)-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:34:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25722919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarkedMage/pseuds/MarkedMage
Summary: Maybe, because in Katara's presence, it's easy to find peace.(Now it's his turn to be hers.)Select moments from 'make sense of all my broken parts', told from Zuko's POV
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Seasons [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1817968
Comments: 21
Kudos: 109





	tear in my heart (there's room for you still)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi friends. I told you I'd be back. Did you expect me so soon?
> 
> As said in the summary, these are select moments from make sense, told in Zuko's POV. There were several scenes that I wanted to explore, but make sense is strictly a Katara-focused story. However, these select few scenes were simply begging to be written, so I had to do something. I have at least four scenes planned, but I'll leave this story ongoing in case there are any requests or a few more pop up.
> 
> If you're a new reader, do me a solid and go read make sense, the first story in the Seasons Universe (Extra love if you give kudos and comments), that way this fic makes sense (hah!). Otherwise, you're going to be v confused.

Baby don't cry tonight  
After the darkness passes  
(I can hold you in my arms)

_\- Baby Don't Cry_ | _EXO -_

~0~

Here are the things Zuko knows to be true. Zuko is the Firelord, and his family is made up of mixed blood from around the world, built on a foundation of blood, sweat and tears. A foundation of trust and love, heartbreak, and the desperation of a boy learning the true meaning of happiness.

This is Katara, a girl of the Southern Water Tribe, with ocean water in her blood. This is Sokka, son of the greatest Chieftain of the South. The girl who accompanies him is a Kyoshi Warrior, fierce and brave, and the slight earthbender is Toph Beifong, the one they call the Blind Bandit. 

The last of his family, a boy with air at his fingertips, a flash of yellow and orange. The Avatar, master of all four elements, the boy who united the world.

These are the people that make up Zuko's family. Maybe they're not from blood, but Zuko, out of all people, knows that there are some bonds that run deeper, ties made out of love and friendship, not pain and cruelty. The love of an uncle, and the friendship of the people who fought tooth and nail to restore his country's honor.

(The girl who made his heart beat again, the boy with the heart of a warrior. A girl born of the Avatar's heritage, an earthbender with dirt in her veins. A boy who dances through the air with feet that were made to touch the skies. Family.)

His family is breaking up now, each one traveling to where they must now be needed. For Sokka, it's to Kyoshi, hand in hand with Suki, before making their way South. Toph's destiny now lies to the east, back home, to repair the frayed bonds she has with her family.

Aang and Katara are staying, much to his relief. He's happier to have his best friend remain in the Fire Nation for a time, happier still to have the girl who changed his life by his side.

( _Thank you,_ he had told her, her hands redrawing the mark on his chest into a symbol of hope, of love. _Thank you_ , he'd said, instead of all the things he wished he could say. But how do you tell someone you love them when they belong to another?)

She helps him with the dilemma with the Earth Kingdom, happily taking the stressful paperwork off his hands and giving him a solution in mere _days_. No political red tape, no complaining noblemen, just Katara, with her sharp mind and clever wits.

He's training in the practice fields, working on his basic forms, when Aang bursts in, tears in his eyes. Zuko is alone, no guards at his disposal, but he calls on his inner fire and storms towards his friend, ready for the worst.

"Aang, what-" he starts, then gasps in pain as a gust of wind sends him flying. He cries out, slamming to the ground, and a boulder smashes down on him from above.

"Agni, Aang, what the hell?" He shouts, feeling the pain of the boulder crushing his shoulder. He rolls out from the shards, fire at his fingertips, and barely dodges the ice daggers flying for his face.

"Zuko!" Aang roars, and there's a flicker of a glow at his eyes, his fingers twitching. "I could kill you!"

_Okay,_ a part of Zuko's brain thinks. _This makes complete sense. Aang has completely lost it. I told Sokka to go easy on the fireflakes, but did he listen?_

He shakes it off, rolling to his feet in a basic stance, feet spread and arms out. "Aang," Zuko says, keeping his voice calm. His inner fire flares, itching to be released, and the little part of him that's soaked full of Ozai's manipulative hate whispers, _burn him._ "What's happened?"

"You ruined everything," Aang roars, and rips up part of the earth, sending it flying towards Zuko. He summons a fistful of fire, smashing the earth in half, only to grunt in pain as Aang materializes, hitting him with an excruciatingly hard gust of wind.

He goes flying, smacking into the ground. Blood bubbles up from his mouth, lips split, and he hacks, coughing up a globule of spit and blood. He looks up, and there's a definite _glow_ in Aang's eyes, his tattoos flickering, and a little wisp of _fear_ courses it's way through Zuko's veins.

(He's on his knees, hair flying out from its neat phoenix tail, tears pouring out of his eyes. A desperate plea of _please, father, forgive me_ , and a flash of bright light. Searing pain courses through his veins, fear swallowing his heart until he's a sobbing mess, blood and burning flesh the only thing he knows. _Suffering shall be your teacher_ , and the fear takes him.)

"Aang!" Zuko roars, shoving down the fear that threatens to weigh him down. He pushes up, summoning a fire blast, which flies towards the Avatar and sends him flying. Zuko won't hurt his best friend _,_ but Aang wants to kill him, and well, that would make Zuko's job at being the Firelord a bit difficult if he were dead.

"Get a grip, Aang," Zuko shouts, and sends a wave of flames at Aang's feet, making the Airbender summon a ball of wind to carry him to safety. "What is your problem?"

"You're my problem," Aang hisses. "I should have never trusted you!"

_Trust,_ Ozai's voice whispers in his ears. _Trust is for cowards. Show him a world of pain_.

"Aang, you're my friend. Whatever happened, please let me help." A gust of wind, a wave of water. Zuko runs, and the earth falls away at his feet. "Aang, what the hell _happened_?" 

"I should have known," Aang screams, tears pouring out of his eyes. Zuko grunts, rolling to the side as the Avatar sends a slice of air screaming towards him. He counters, expelling a wave of flame that roars towards the Avatar, giving him ample enough time to scramble away. Aang jumps, feet nimble, and sends a gust of icy shards towards Zuko.

"What the hell, Aang?" Zuko retaliates, kicking out his legs, a searing arc of fire snarling towards the Airbender. "What happened?" 

_Why won't you answer_ _me?_ He thinks, summoning fire whips to his hands. It makes Aang fall back, hissing in anger as he retreats.

Aang screams in frustration, slamming his foot down, and a wall of earth rises from the ground, shielding him from harm and cutting through the flames. The wall drops, and Aang appears, eyes narrowed and anger pouring off of him in waves. "It was always you."

Zuko jumps to his feet, bewildered. Aang is a fantastic bender, the elements fluidly following his every move, but watching him now, you'd never expect he was the Avatar. The boy snarls, flames erupting out of his fingers, and he flies forward, smashing into Zuko like a dragon possessed.

(Is this what he looked like? No finesse, just pure, unadulterated anger and rage. A shadow of his former self, a shell of what he's supposed to symbolize. This isn’t power, this isn’t bending. This is anger, a dark cloud tainting your mind and robbing you of your sense of reason.)

"Aang," Zuko growls, parrying the boy's fists with his arms. He doesn't want to hurt the Avatar, but Aang isn't giving him much of a choice. He pushes, using his brunt strength, and Aang stumbles, falling to the ground. "What should you have known?"

Aang's shoulders tremble. The fight leaves him in an instant, and the boy laid out before Zuko reminds him of how he looked in the moments before the Agni Kai, tears in his eyes and hopelessness weighing his body down.

"I should've known," Aang mumbles, and the look he gives Zuko is filled with so much anguish, like the world is ending. "I should have known that I was going to lose her."

Zuko frowns, leaning down next to the Airbender, placing a tentative hand on his arm. "Katara?" He asks, and Aang blinks. "I don't understand."

"She was always going to pick you."

Zuko's blood freezes, and he crashes to his knees next to Aang. Something in his heart _flutters_ , like a baby sparrowkeet flying for the first time, and the image of Katara smiling up at him is seared into his mind like a tattoo. "What?"

Aang sniffles, pulling himself up into a sitting position, hugging his legs. It's a pitiful sight really, the Avatar with snot and tears dribbling down his face, but Zuko leans in, pressing his shoulder against the boy's. "Aang," he says. "What do you mean?"

Aang sighs. "I wanted to travel the world," he begins in a raspy voice. "I wanted Katara to come with me, but she told me her place was here." He frowns, eyes narrowing, and pins Zuko with a freezing glare. "With you. Not with me. And she told me she didn't love me."

Zuko sighs. "Aang-"

"Tell me something, Zuko," Aang mumbles. "Am I hard to love?"

( _Why doesn't father love me?_ Ten year old Zuko, asking the prodigy sister. _Because love is a weakness, Zu-Zu,_ is what he’s told, and this sticks with him, even up to the moment it’s branded on his face. Zuko’s love is a symbol of his weakness, a permanent stain. _)_

_"_ You're not hard to love, Aang," Zuko says. "But you're thirteen years old. You have the rest of your life to live, to explore the world. Tying yourself down at such an early age is no way to live. Take it from someone who knows."

Aang wipes his eyes. "I think she loves you," he says, and Zuko refuses to acknowledge the flutter in his heart. "It's the only thing that makes sense."

Zuko shakes his head. "Katara is staying here because we need an emissary from the South Pole while negotiations are ongoing," he points out, trying to reason with the boy. "Come on, Aang, you know that." 

He scowls. "Sokka could stay."

There's a part of Zuko that wants to yell and scream, go back to before when fists were better than words. It's so _easy_ for Zuko to forget that Aang is just a _boy_ , that even though he's the most powerful being in the universe, Aang the Airbender is just a _mere_ child, fueled by emotions and hormones. But Aang is his friend, even if he is being dramatic, and so Zuko takes a deep breath.

(Spirits, if he was as bad as Aang is being now, he's got a hell of a lot to apologize to his Uncle for.)

"Aang, you know that's impossible," he begins, slowly. "Sokka needs to go back to the South Pole, begin his training as a Chieftain. Plus, Suki needs her boyfriend. That's not fair to either of them."

Aang's eyes harden to chips of steel. "So that's it, huh?" He snarls, popping to his feet. " _I'm_ the bad guy, the selfish jerk just looking out for his own happiness?"

Zuko blinks, taken aback. "Aang, no, I didn't say that!"

"No of course you didn't," Aang snarls. "You didn't have to! It's written all over your face! And maybe you're right. Katara said the exact same thing to me!"

Zuko's eyes narrow. "Aang-"

"I want her," Aang spits. "But she doesn't want me." He looks at Zuko, and his eyes are flinty with anger. "You took her from me."

Zuko jumps to his feet. "Katara is her own person," he explodes. "If she doesn't want a relationship, Aang, then she _doesn't want it_. You don't get to decide who loves who!"

"Why isn't my love enough?" Aang wails instead, ignoring Zuko's outbursts. It's shocking to see Aang like this, reduced to a state where he's boiling with anger, to sobbing like a child mere seconds later. It's understandable, given his age, but it enrages Zuko nonetheless.

(Who is Aang to lay claim to a girl who doesn't belong to anyone? Katara is a girl who belongs to the sea and ice, not tethered to a boy whose spirit will never settle.)

"Because sometimes it just isn't, okay?" Zuko roars, sparks shooting from his fingers. "Sometimes all you want to do is give someone the world, and it's not enough! Sometimes you get branded for your love, and even then, it's not enough. It just isn't, Aang!"

( _Father, please. I'm sorry.)_

His chest is heaving, arms trembling, and his scar throbs. A little voice laughs maliciously inside him, and his blood itches for a fight. Aang's eyes are wide, mouth slack, and Zuko frowns, clenching his fists.

"You can love whoever you want in this world, Aang," Zuko says. "And sometimes, that love is just not meant to be. I'm sorry she doesn't love you, but it's not fair for you to be mad, not at her, not at Sokka, and not at me. Do we deserve that?"

Aang’s anger deflates, leaving behind a hollow husk of a boy. “No,” is what he finally says, and Zuko sighs, dropping to his knees, utterly spent. It’s been a while since he fought as hard as he just did, a while since his blood boiled with the anger of a fight. There’s something different about it though- the weariness at his fingertips for once, not weighing him down as much as it used to. Maybe it’s because he’s used to the echoes battle whispering at the edges of his subconscious. Or maybe it’s because he wasn’t fighting for blood, but for the honor of a girl who saved his life.

(Maybe, because he was fighting for her. Not for death, not for hatred, not for spite. For the life of a girl who dances on water and holds his heart within her hands.)

He looks up at Aang staggers away, his robes in tatters. “Aang,” he cries out, reaching for his friend, but the airbender reaches for his staff. 

“I have to go,” is what he tells Zuko, and takes to the air, leaving the Firelord alone with his thoughts in the middle of a ruined practice field. When his guards find him collapsed among the ruins of the arena, there is panic all around.

“Don’t tell her,” he says, getting to his feet. He stumbles away, reaching for his robes, and waves off the guards trying to help him. “Leave me be.”

He leaves, heading back to the palace, the shadows of the Avatar weighing him down and the lightness of a waterbender living in his thoughts. 

~0~

There's a letter in his quarters when he returns to his chambers that night, sitting on his mattress, and he recognizes the neat lettering of Aang's hand. He disrobes, shucking his outer layers and changing into his sleep pants, before grabbing the letter and slipping under the sheets.

_Dear Zuko,_

_I'm sorry for my outburst earlier. I know it's not your fault that Katara doesn't love me, and it was unfair of me to put all the blame on you. I blame myself, for being so blind in my love that I didn't see reality._

_I know I told you that I'd be staying, but with recent events, I think it'll be better for all of us if I put some space between myself and Katara. For her sake, and mine._

_Please take care of her, for me. And if not for me, for her. And you._

_Your friend,_

_Aang_

He sighs, slouching into his bed, holding his head in his hands. There's something almost like _relief_ settling on his shoulders, relief that he won't have to worry about the heartbreak living within Aang's heart, the guilt no doubt settling in Katara's. Separation will be good for them, give Katara a chance to work on herself and Aang some time to grow up. Maybe, when he comes back, things will be different.

They'll be better.

He rolls over, closing his eyes, crumpling Aang's letter in his fist.

He dreams of the Agni Kai, only this time, it's not Ozai he's facing, but Aang. He drops to the ground, tears pouring out of his eyes, and the Avatar roars. This time, it's not his face that burns, but his entire being, and he screams, dissolving in a stream of light.

The Agni Kai with his sister comes next, and he drowns in a sea of lightning. Aang appears, floating over him as he writhes, eyes blank. Zuko calls out, reaching for his friend, but the airbender whispers, _why couldn’t she love me,_ and disappears. Zuko cries out, and there’s pain in his face and heart, and somewhere over his head, he can hear the maniacal laughter of his sister and father. Taking pleasure from his pain, just as they always have. Their laughter follows him as he fades, succumbing to the bright blue flickering around him.

There's a girl that finds him, pulling him from the ocean of pain that's swirling around him. She's got brown hair and deep blue eyes, and the hands on his chest are soft, tugging at the little threads of his shattered heart and putting them back together, piece by piece. She whispers his name, presses a kiss to his lips, and pulls back. _Katara_ , he says, and raises a hand, and she dissolves into a beam of sunlight, the warmth of her hands lingering in the pattern of a starburst splattered across his chest 

There's a knock on his door some time later, rousing him from sleep. He groans, getting to his feet, and shuffles from the bedroom, into the main chamber.

"Who is it?"

"It's-" his guard's voice begins, then cuts off as the door slams open. Zuko tenses, body immediately settling into a stance after years of fighting, fire coming to his hands, but relaxes as none other than Sokka himself comes storming in.

"Sokka," Zuko says, relaxing. "What are you doing here?"

Sokka sighs, slouching into the couch on his right, and Zuko nods to the guards standing at the doors. "Thank you," he says to them, and they bow, closing the doors. 

Sokka shifts, sinking into the soft cushions as Zuko strides over, reaching for the bottle of firewhiskey on the table. He accepts the glass Zuko hands him and takes a sip. "Fuck."

"Rough day?" Zuko asks wryly, and Sokka blinks, eying the bruises on Zuko's shoulder.

"You're one to talk."

"Aa," Zuko says, shrugging. "I've had worse."

"Aang?"

Zuko takes a swig, letting the burning alcohol carve a path down his throat. Anything to soothe the sting of Aang's words and the crushing weight of his feelings for the girl they love. "How'd you know?"

Sokka sighs. "Suki and I talked to him before he left, managed to convince him to go to Kyoshi to calm down. He was pretty bent out of shape.I managed to wrangle the truth out of him, though."

Zuko rolls his head back, resting against the cushions. "I understand how he feels, but I can't help but hate him a little for putting Katara through that."

Sokka coughs. "Well you and I both know Katara can handle herself. But you're right, that wasn't fair of him to drag her into his plans without her wishes."

"Have you talked to her?"

Sokka nods. "Just came back actually."

Zuko swallows."How is she?" 

The Water Tribe boy shrugs, reaching out with his empty glass. Zuko pours him another, and Sokka takes a hearty swig before speaking.

"She's upset. Aang laying all that on her was hard."

Zuko straightens, setting his glass down on the table, eyes narrowed. "Should I go see her? Is there anything I should bring? I should-"

Sokka waves him off with a glimmer in his bright eyes. "She's resting now," he says. "Give her some space."

Zuko sags back into the couch, staring at the warm gold of his firewhiskey. In it, he relives the fires of the Agni Kai, the sharp burn of the alcohol like the acrid taste of lightning on his tongue. Then the cooling touch of Katara's hands, her warm eyes, and the lift in his heart.

“You know,” Sokka says, and his voice is quiet, tense, making Zuko look up from his glass. “I’ve watched Aang fall a little more in love with Katara ever since she pulled him out of that iceberg. And I know how much Katara cares, how selfless she is, but traveling the world with Aang while he galivants around the world, fulfilling his childhood dreams would have done no good. 

“Aang’s too young to be with her,” Zuko replies. “I get that he’s the Avatar, and that he’s done more for this world than we could ever know, but he’s thirteen, Sokka. Katara is seventeen. It wouldn’t be a relationship. It’d be a mother taking care of a child. Just like it’s always been.”

Sokka sighs. “I’m not saying what she did was good. Aang is heartbroken, but someday he’s gonna learn that they’re just not fit for each other.”

“Katara deserves the world,” Zuko says. “Aang can’t give that to her. But maybe someday, someone else can.”

( _Can I be the one? Can I give you the stars? The sun and moon? Would you accept my heart, even though it already belongs to you?)_

"You love her, don't you?" Sokka's voice breaks through his trance, startling him into the present once more. He coughs, blinking, desperate to come up with a feasible excuse, but Sokka raises a hand. "Just answer the question."

Zuko blinks. "Katara is my best friend," is what he goes with, a safe alternative. Sokka does not buy it, snorts and stands, and pierces Zuko with a frozen stare.

"That doesn't answer my question."

"What does it matter?" Zuko retorts, standing up. "Yes, I love your sister. But I'm not gonna force myself on her now that Aang's gone, if that's what you're worried about."

That _something_ glimmers in Sokka's eyes again, and he smiles, a wry grin touching his lips. "And there it is," he murmurs, falling back to the couch, leaving Zuko in confusion.

"What?"

Sokka reaches for his glass, taking another sip, regarding Zuko with those cool eyes. "The reason why you're better for Katara than Aang is. You see her."

Zuko frowns. "What do you mean? Are you always this elusive?"

Sokka laughs. "Come on Zuko, we've only traveled the world together these past few months, you should know me by now." He grins, and Zuko can't help the wry chuckle from escaping past his lips. Sokka smriks, leaning forward, and his eyes glimmer. "Listen, Zuko," he says. "I'm not here to tell you that Katara is in love with you too, just so you guys can ride off into the sunset and have magnificent babies or anything-" Zuko splutters, face burning, "-But whether Katara loves you or not isn't up to me. _This_ is what I know. No matter what happens, whether you end up together or not, I know _you'll_ be good for her. You'll take care of her. You always do. I know that you’ll always be at my sister’s side.”

Zuko chokes. “Of course I will, Sokka. That’s not even a question-”

“You’re good for her,” Sokka interrupts, eyes dark. “I’m not worried about Katara, because I know, no matter when I go, you’ll take care of her. And that’s all I’ve ever wanted. Not a boy who thinks he loves her because she’s the first pretty girl who showed him kindness, not a manboy who thinks she’s useful and manipulates her feelings. Just someone who will show her the respect she deserves and treat her better.” He leans in. “You’re that to her. Even if it isn’t romantic, or even if it is, she needs you. When I’m gone, I’m leaving her in your capable hands.”

It’s quiet in the wake of Sokka’s confession, the air heavy and still. Sokka sets his glass down, shoulders slumped, and leans back into the couch. Zuko regards him carefully, a warrior his age, having seen too much of the world too soon.

(They’re still kids, no matter what the universe has thrown at them. And yet, he thinks, the world failed them. They’re the heroes of a war they should never have had to face. Young people, with their childhoods stolen from them, youth ripped away by greedy individuals who would see the world burn.)

“I will always take care of your sister,” Zuko says, slowly. “She is my best friend. I wouldn’t risk that for anything.”

Sokka sighs, turning his head to look out the window, to the moon shining high in the side. His eyes soften as he regards the heavens, and vaguely, Zuko remembers an old memory, Katara murmuring in his ear a while back, of a girl named Yue who became the moon.

(They’ve lost so much to this war. The genocide of a people, the invasion of a country, a sacrifice of a beloved, and the loss of a mother. The pain of scars and war impact all of them, even though it shouldn’t, and Zuko wishes they all could have lived normal lives, met under normal circumstances.)

“Just between you and me, I don’t think I’d mind it if you and Katara get together,” Sokka muses, and Zuko chokes on his own breath, face reddening. “Dad, on the other hand, is a completely different matter altogether, but honestly? Katara deserves happiness, and you, despite all that has happened, you make her happy.”

“I’d always try to make her happy, Sokka, you know that,” Zuko says, trying to contain the wild pounding of his heart. “But only if she wants it.”

Sokka smiles, and reaches out with his glass. “That’s what I like to hear. Now pour me another.”

Zuko grins, reaching for the glass, and relaxes in the companionship of a dear friend, under a night of no stars. All the while, a girl wreathed in blue haunts his thoughts, and he dreams of a life where there is no war, where he is a boy and she is just a girl, and life is easier.

~0~

When Zuko first took the royal throne of the Fire Nation, he knew he was taking on all the responsibility, all the duty and honor, and all of the authority of the country. That was something he was prepared for- something he'd spent the majority of his life studying for. The crown of the Firelord was meant for his head.

But mending Katara's broken spirit? That was something he hadn't been prepared for, but for all the spirits in the world he was going to give it his all. As the very first person to touch his scar and give him hope for a brighter future, she deserved that.

He just didn't expect to fall in love with her.

Granted, he's probably been in love with Katara, or at least, falling in love with her, ever since Ba Sing Se.

But there's something about Katara, something about the ocean in her eyes and her hair that smells like sea foam, the passion of her spirit and the willingness of her soul to look past his faults. It's only fair he does the same for her.

Zuko is no stranger to trauma. Having had his fair share of it ever since he was a child, Zuko has come to identify its presence. While everyone copes with trauma differently, there are a few shared characteristics that are always there. 

You see, he too, has had nightmares. He sees his father in his dreams, and Ozai burns more than just his face. He kills Iroh, kills Aang and Sokka and Toph, tortures Katara before his eyes. Azula shoots him full of lightning, and Katara isn't there to save him this time. Worse, he sees the faces of innocents he's killed, the Earth Kingdom boy he killed to save his uncle, a waterbender that had stepped too close to his flame.

He finds Katara sprawled out in his mother's garden, tears in her eyes and a tremor at her fingertips. He's got a feeling as to why she's here, and he steps forward, calling her name. She whirls, dark shadows swirling in the blue depths of her eyes, and there's blood on her lips. Then there's a whistling sound on the breeze, and he yelps, diving to the side as ice daggers fly towards his head.

Not ice daggers, he realizes, looking at the sharp red shards embedded in the tree where his head had been, not moments before. Blood daggers.

"It's Zuko," he says, and her eyes widen. She apologizes, a tremor at her lips, but he waves off her apology, and joins her under the tree. The silence is palpable, but after a little prodding, Zuko is able to wrangle from her the events that transpired.

“I know how it feels,” is what he tells her. “To be fighting a war no one notices.”

Ozai and Azula, scarring more than just his body, filling his thoughts with pain and hatred. Blood burning at his fingertips, fire scorching his face, his heart split in two directions. 

It's a new war, he tells her. One that they have to fight, because battle is in their blood. Only a different way, a different fight. One that he'll be by her side for, this time, and not run away.

(He can't, not even if he tried. Katara has a firm grip on his heart, and he wouldn't be able to break free even if he wanted to.) 

"I couldn't love him," Katara tells Zuko. Aang. "I just couldn't love him the way he wanted me to."

It makes Zuko's heart skip a beat, flutter at the thought of Katara being free from Aang's claim, but he shoves his longing down. “Aang is still a kid,” is what he says, instead of reaching for her like his heart yearns for. “He’s still growing, still learning. He’ll figure it out that the two of you were always better off as family.” That makes her look up at him, tears pooling in her eyes, and he gives in, leaning in close to sharing her warmth, and does his best to console her.

He’ll be okay,” Zuko says. “I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but eventually he’ll realize, and he’ll come back. He always does.”

No matter what Katara has done, or in this case, _hasn't_ , there's one thing about her and Aang that Zuko knows to be true. No one can stay mad at her for long, and Aang has been her friend for a very long time. He's coming back.

No one could stay mad at Katara for long. Look at him. No matter what has happened, nothing could keep Katara from making a home within his heart and bringing peace to the fires that burn within. Katara has a way of finding the good inside people, driving the evil away. 

He holds her close, pulling her into his chest, and she relaxes against him, resting her head in the crook of his neck. He slows his breathing, calming his racing heart, and increases his inner flame, the heat spreading out across his body and into hers. She sighs, leaning in closer, and Zuko wonders if this is what life would be like if they were together.

(A normal boy and a normal girl, sharing the heat of the moment under a full moon, with nothing but love in between their souls.)

She looks up at him, and he finds the endless depths of her eyes like a bottomless ocean, deep blue infinity he would willingly drown in. But there's sadness in the shadows, wisps of darkness curling at the edges of her pupils, remind him of the ghosts of war he sees in so many soldiers, he sees inside his own.

“Katara,” he says, then wets his lips and runs his hand through his hair. “If you ever need to talk about it, you know, everything that’s bothering you, I’m here for you. You don’t have to suffer through this alone.”

There's conflict in her eyes as she regards him, a fight to confide versus conceal. He watches her struggle, the battle within her, but eventually, the light part of Katara wins. She tells him about her ghosts, the darkness pooling in her soul, and his heart goes out to her. How this darkness, this bloodbending, this _thing_ is evil, vile, and that she could be a monster for wielding it.

“All bending forms have equally dangerous ways to kill," he tells her. Airbenders, earthbenders, each one has a way to kill, to destroy. "And firebending, fuck, we can burn someone alive, and make it so painful that the skin melts off a person’s body before they die. I’ve seen it happen. So please, don’t let this bloodbending power of yours make you believe you’re a monster. You’re not. You’re a warrior and a healer, and you always seek to help, not destroy.”

She shudders, and he can feel the weight of his words weighing down on her, wrapping over her soul and trying to soothe her spirit. _It's another war_ , he says. _We just have to fight it a different way._

"I'm not strong," is what she tells him, and his heart cries out in pain. What he wants, more than anything, is to wrap her up in his love, hold her close, press kisses of starlight upon her brown and lips, whisper words of comfort and love and breathe light back into her. If it were up to him, he'd pull the moon out of the sky and set it upon her heart to drive away the shadows that would dare linger there, show her exactly how strong she is.

But he doesn't do either of those things, because it's not in his place to do so. Katara is a warrior, a healer, a girl who holds his heart, but she is in pain. It's just his job to support her, first and foremost, shine a little light on her soul and be by her side through this. Just like he promised Sokka.

(What comes after, though, is up to her.)

"You can," he says, holding her close, pressing a kiss to her hair and breathing in her ocean. She sighs, pressing in, and surrenders to his warmth. "You're brave enough for anything, Katara." He wants to tell her that she is the sun, the moon, and the ocean. That maybe she is the only strong one left in this world, keeping the land together by the strength of her healing hands. That she, somehow, brought life back to the continent, breathing it back into his scarred and bruised body, awakening the Avatar, ending the war and putting a crazed princess out of her misery. But he doesn't.

Instead he says this: "I know that this war has taken much from you, has darkened your heart and poisoned your soul with so much death and strife. I know what this war took from you, your family, your home. And I know it feels like you have no courage left, that your heart is too scarred from wounds of the soul to ever feel like you can be brave again, that you could ever put yourself through something challenging when you’ve already been to hell and back." It's not what he wants to say, nowhere near close, but it's the best he can offer without offering her the entirety of his heart. “I know the life-giving blood that runs through your veins, and I know you can beat this. You can, and you will.”

She looks up at him, unshed tears pooling in her ocean eyes, and Zuko wishes to place a kiss upon her lips, drive away the shadows and whisper his love into her ear until she’s sure of worth. _There are millions of people in this world,_ he thinks, holding her close. _And yet, it would be a sadder place without you in it._

"We'll get through this." He says. "We always will." 

He stays with her, all night, huddled under the moonlight. He can still feel the tension wracking her body, the shadows that plague him now tainting her, but he keeps her close, holding her tight, as if his warmth will be enough to keep them at bay.

_Not her_ , he thinks, teeth gritted even as he kisses her forehead. _You can't have her._

Ozai's whispers are quiet, for once. Maybe it's because Zuko is content, or maybe because it's the presence of the girl who fought off the darkness, became the light that would guide Zuko's way to greatness. Maybe, because in Katara's presence, it's easy to find peace.

(Now it's his turn to be hers.)

**Author's Note:**

> I had a lil bit of a hard time getting inside Zu-Zu's head for this one, but I hope I did him some justice. For the next chapter, we get to see how Zuko got Druk, and how his feelings for Katara grows as the fic progresses. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think! I really appreciate the love you guys have left on my fics- they're the motivation that keeps me popping out more stories. So just remember, more kudos and comments, more stories. You guys are my motivation! Thank you so much!


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